How To Communicate With Greater Influence
When I was watching the Oscar-award winning movie “Amadeus’ many years ago, in one the scene, the young Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was trying to “push” Emperor Joseph II to buy his revolutionary idea of a new opera he had in mind. Not to the surprise of many, he immediately faced stiff opposition from the Court officials and composers, including the emperor himself. They agreed unanimously that the idea Mozart had was not suitable and appropriate for the era at that time.
Despite his zealous persistency, the emperor finally uttered this statement, “ Mozart, you are very passionate, but you do not “ persuade ".
Had Mozart learnt the skills of how to influence the King and other Court officials, he would have had a better chance of sustainability in the royal circuit, achieved a better quality of life and made more supportive friends. But instead, he died miserably in desolation at the age of 35.
In this 21st Century when the globalised world has gone “ flat “ , people need faster and powerful skills to build connections with others in all desperate attempts to defy objections, oppositions and rejections. The methods of trying to persuade and convince belong to the yesteryears.
Do you want to know how to build a superhighway to create powerful connections with people? Easy. Build your influence around them.
How?
ADVICE: Ask yourself what influences you?
One of the key area that help people become more influential than they can ever imagine is to practice listening to people. Not just any listening. But listen attentively and even better, listen with empathy. That is, listen to understand the needs and wants of people.
If we turn the wheel around and ask ourselves this : why do we need to be listened to? In this era where speed and innovations reign the world, people are so busy working at their job that they can hardly pay attention to their suppliers, colleagues, or customers due to a lack of time.
Is that true?
ADVICE: How can I pay more attention to people that I meet these days?
This is precisely the reason why most of us are not “persuasive” to others. We never seem to have time for other people to create that level of influence over them. We are “perceived” to be no longer caring and attentive. Who wants to follow our advice or adopt our information for positive consideration?
It has a lot to do with our ATTITUDE towards people.
You are right. It’s not a lack of time, but a lack of attitude. Our attitude towards people whom we call family members, friends, colleagues, bosses, neighbours, street mates, suppliers, customers and even strangers.
How are you doing so far in listening without prejudice, listening with love and listening with an intention to help others get better in life?
ADVICE: If you do, CONGRATULATIONS! If you haven’t, buckle your seat belt because you are going for a long ride on a superhighway of life !
Here are the most important foundations of listening that I have learnt from myself, other experts and successful communicators like Dale Carnegie, whose powerful lessons about influencing people have made a dramatic impact in my personal life and my career with high success:
1st Habit to Influence
When someone starts listening to me, it shows that they are interested in what I have to say. Why? I want to be the focus of attention.
2nd Habit to Influence
When they listen attentively, I perceive them as being respectful. Why? I deserve to be respected.
3rd Habit to Influence
When they listen to understand, I feel that I am being understood by someone who cares about what I think and feel inside. And, when I am understood, I feel good.
When you can develop those 3 habits of listening to people based on the 3 foundations in human needs and behaviour outlined above, you have just increased your power to build rapport on an unconscious level with the person you meet and therefore, you tear down any possible resistance from the person and move towards cooperation for a better outcome.
ACTION STEP:
What specific steps you are going to do to improve your listening skills and increase your influencing power with people?
See you soon in my next Power Tip #2 !
Cheers!
TK Chan
http://www.4qctraining.com
About TK Chan
He is the founder, principal master trainer and Certified NLP consultant of Fourth Quadrant Communications ( 4QC ), a training and speaking organization that conducts workshops and seminars for multinational companies in the key areas of personal success & change, sales, customer service, communication and leadership. He can be reached at 6013 -3954754 or contacted by email: tk@4qctraining.com.
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- TK Chan
- Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
- Tye Kooi CHAN is a Certified Trainer of NLP & Time Line Therapy®, a Certified Master Practitioner of Hypnotherapy and a Certified NLP Master Coach. He is a registered member of the American Board of NLP (ABNLP) and Time Line Therapy® Association(TLTA), an associate trainer with the FMM Institute, a MIM-Certified Professional Trainer (MIM-CPT®) with the Malaysian Institute of Management (MIM) and an active practitioner member of the Malaysian Association of Psychotherapy (MAP). TK is a full-time international trainer and speaker , a principal NLP coach and consultant, principal and founder of Fourth Quadrant Communications (4QC)and Quantum Leap Technology (QLT),whose speciality and core mission is to help people create BREAKTHROUGH CHANGE in their values, beliefs and behaviour to achieve lasting and BREAKTHROUGH RESULTS. TK’s most prominent skills in helping his seminar participants to maximise personal effectiveness in change, sales, service, communications and building business network are his INFLUENCING, NEGOTIATION and RELATIONSHIP POWER based upon the technology of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Time Line Therapy® and Ericksonian Hypnosis.
