2. Negotiation Secret No.1

The 1st Secret That Negotiators Won't Tell You -
How To Help Them Get What They Want

Remember the time when the movie “ The Negotiator” came blasting onto the big screen? You bet, it co-starred two of my all-time favourite movie heroes – Kevin Spacey & Samuel L. Jackson. Their riveting acting was memorable, exciting and most of all, thrilling. I thought that was the best movie on the subject of negotiating ever filmed by any screen director. Grab your popcorn, sip your Coke, sit tight and watch it ……it’s not just about the action, it’s about people solving a common problem using powerful negotiation!

How do you know that you have started to negotiate with someone? What are the evidence to suggest that you are negotiating? Is it the long wide table, the high chair of the opposite parties, the agreement forms lying on the edge of the table, the bright lights, the heavy smokes, the daunting clock, the suits, or the Chinese Poker face?

Well, it’s nothing like you see in the movie really.

The real negotiating process starts when you have thought about exchanging your unsatisfied needs with someone whom you believe have control over what you want. Like a product that you desire, a service that you require to help you get to your objectives, or other vital information that will change your outcome. Whatever you want, if you don’t have it, you need to negotiate.

So, you ask, how do I get what I want?

The 1st Secret ……. do you have what they need? If you don’t, you have nothing to exchange. In other words, there is nothing you can help them with!

Many a times, when you want to sell some product and services to customers, you assume that you have what they need. How do you know? Did you ask them? Did they voluntarily tell you that? You wonder why they turn your questions upside down like an overnight laundry as though there are dirts all over it. You have told them everything about your product in details, and yet, nothing really excites their face.

Simple. That’s nothing he wants from you. So, the customer now thinks, “ You can say anything, but you have no control over my feelings for your products and services. “

Effective negotiators don’t assume and shoot blankly. They check by asking the right questions to understand what the other party might want. They sincerely ask what THEY CAN DO to give what the other side desires. They are INTERESTED to help. Their outcome is to HELP, not to assume and second-guess.

Now, the negotiator is ready to listen to you and tell you what he wants. That’s how you can negotiate with him.

Curious to find out more about how to negotiate like a pro and increase your personal influence with others for a powerful win-win using 1 simple technique?

Go to http://www.4qctraining.com/cms/Default.asp?Page=70 and use this proven negotiation secrets now!>>

ACTION STEP:
I start to develop a good habit of asking the right question of finding the negotiator’s unsatisfied needs. I stop assuming that he must want what I have. Instead, the better strategy is to ask him what he needs and get him to be interested in asking for what he wants.

See you soon in my next Power Tip #3 on " The 2nd Secret That Negotiators Won’t Tell You "!

Good luck and this is TK. Remember, happy negotiating!

Use this proven negotiation secrets now!>>

To your PERSONAL SUCCESS!
TK Chan
Certified NLP Master Practitioner (ABNLP)
Corporate Sales & Negotiation Trainer

About TK
He is the founder, principal master trainer and NLP consultant of Fourth Quadrant Communications ( 4QC ), a training and speaking organization that conducts workshops and seminars for local and multinational companies in the key areas of personal success, value change, psychological sales negotiation, customer service loyalty, high-impact communication and leadership. You can reach him at 6013 -3954754 or email him at tk@4qctraining.com.

1. 3 Habits of Influencing Power

How To Communicate With Greater Influence

When I was watching the Oscar-award winning movie “Amadeus’ many years ago, in one the scene, the young Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was trying to “push” Emperor Joseph II to buy his revolutionary idea of a new opera he had in mind. Not to the surprise of many, he immediately faced stiff opposition from the Court officials and composers, including the emperor himself. They agreed unanimously that the idea Mozart had was not suitable and appropriate for the era at that time.

Despite his zealous persistency, the emperor finally uttered this statement, “ Mozart, you are very passionate, but you do not “ persuade ".

Had Mozart learnt the skills of how to influence the King and other Court officials, he would have had a better chance of sustainability in the royal circuit, achieved a better quality of life and made more supportive friends. But instead, he died miserably in desolation at the age of 35.

In this 21st Century when the globalised world has gone “ flat “ , people need faster and powerful skills to build connections with others in all desperate attempts to defy objections, oppositions and rejections. The methods of trying to persuade and convince belong to the yesteryears.

Do you want to know how to build a superhighway to create powerful connections with people? Easy. Build your influence around them.

How?

ADVICE: Ask yourself what influences you?

One of the key area that help people become more influential than they can ever imagine is to practice listening to people. Not just any listening. But listen attentively and even better, listen with empathy. That is, listen to understand the needs and wants of people.
If we turn the wheel around and ask ourselves this : why do we need to be listened to? In this era where speed and innovations reign the world, people are so busy working at their job that they can hardly pay attention to their suppliers, colleagues, or customers due to a lack of time.

Is that true?

ADVICE: How can I pay more attention to people that I meet these days?

This is precisely the reason why most of us are not “persuasive” to others. We never seem to have time for other people to create that level of influence over them. We are “perceived” to be no longer caring and attentive. Who wants to follow our advice or adopt our information for positive consideration?

It has a lot to do with our ATTITUDE towards people.

You are right. It’s not a lack of time, but a lack of attitude. Our attitude towards people whom we call family members, friends, colleagues, bosses, neighbours, street mates, suppliers, customers and even strangers.

How are you doing so far in listening without prejudice, listening with love and listening with an intention to help others get better in life?

ADVICE: If you do, CONGRATULATIONS! If you haven’t, buckle your seat belt because you are going for a long ride on a superhighway of life !

Here are the most important foundations of listening that I have learnt from myself, other experts and successful communicators like Dale Carnegie, whose powerful lessons about influencing people have made a dramatic impact in my personal life and my career with high success:

1st Habit to Influence
When someone starts listening to me, it shows that they are interested in what I have to say. Why? I want to be the focus of attention.

2nd Habit to Influence
When they listen attentively, I perceive them as being respectful. Why? I deserve to be respected.

3rd Habit to Influence
When they listen to understand, I feel that I am being understood by someone who cares about what I think and feel inside. And, when I am understood, I feel good.

When you can develop those 3 habits of listening to people based on the 3 foundations in human needs and behaviour outlined above, you have just increased your power to build rapport on an unconscious level with the person you meet and therefore, you tear down any possible resistance from the person and move towards cooperation for a better outcome.

ACTION STEP:
What specific steps you are going to do to improve your listening skills and increase your influencing power with people?

See you soon in my next Power Tip #2 !

Cheers!
TK Chan
http://www.4qctraining.com

About TK Chan
He is the founder, principal master trainer and Certified NLP consultant of Fourth Quadrant Communications ( 4QC ), a training and speaking organization that conducts workshops and seminars for multinational companies in the key areas of personal success & change, sales, customer service, communication and leadership. He can be reached at 6013 -3954754 or contacted by email: tk@4qctraining.com.